Life, Death and Birth

Today, February 18th will always be a special day for me full of new experiences, memories and longing.

Two years ago today around 2 a.m. I awoke from a deep sleep in pain and realized I was having contractions back to back. Immediately my thoughts started to rush in, this baby I was caring was coming a month early (just as my first born had done), we were having a horrible ice storm when i went to bed, the hospital was 20 minutes away in good weather, and most of all I did not want to deliver this baby in our van! I quickly awoke my husband and had him call my step mom who lived a block away from us so she could come stay with the kids. Then we called my best friend and birth coach to come over. Once they arrived at our home I was barely able to move or talk. As soon as my friend arrived she gave her opinion on how fast the labor was and we decided that it would be best to make this a home birth (which we had discussed before but never could decide if it would be a good option for us). My friend had her four children at home delivered by her mom who is a home birth midwife, so we called her and she was quickly on her way to our house. Surprisingly to me baby waited long enough for the midwife to arrive and to get ready. This would be my third birth and second naturally without medication and first at home. There was no time to be worried or to stress over things it was time to get to work. After a little pushing the words came, its a boy! Soon my little one was in my arms, healthy and so beautiful. Colin Jacob was born at 4:10 a.m. weighing 6 lbs. 7 oz. (my largest baby to date). Colin is interpreted 'bear cub' so now that is my personal nick name for him. After examining him we realized that there were no signs of premature birth like there had been with my first born and since the doctor kept changing the due date we decided he must of been around 37-38 weeks gestation instead of at the possible 35 weeks. So thankful for God's constant watch over us all!

After a birth then comes the fun of sharing the news of the birth with family and friends. I reached for my phone and began to look up a number...my moms number. To most of you that would the first phone call you would make if your mother had not been with you already. But for me I was to set aside the phone and hold my baby a little closer to me  and try to find a way to deal with the gladness that came with the birth of my son and the sadness that his grandma would not get to hold him. Three months earlier my mom had been sick with bronchitis that she couldn't seem to shake and after trying to fight it for awhile was finally admitted into the hospital. The night she was admitted I talked to her on the phone and that is the last time I heard her voice. Later that night her pulse ox. dropped drastically and she had a heart attack, she was then life flighted to a larger hospital. My siblings (except for our little sister who was only 8 and wasn't aloud in the hospital because of the H1NI outbreak) and aunts spent 13 days at the hospital where she was treated for H1N1 and Viral Pneumonia. I was only aloud to see her through glass because of her condition and mine (pregnant as I was they really didn't even want me in the hospital). As the days wore on our hope that she would recover grew thin. On November 16, 2009 we began our "good byes" and "we miss you's" that I guess will never stop until we are able to say "hello" to her in Heaven one day! I miss her daily but it seems like days like that when my little Colin was born almost 3 months after her death and days like today where we are getting ready to celebrate his birthday that the missing and longing is much more intense.

A lot of my extended family are gone now and it seems lonely somedays. No mom to call and chat with, no grandparents to gain wisdom from but God's comfort is there in those times and He seems to send exactly what I need on those days. This world is not my home though and I rest assured in the saving power of Jesus that one day I will be in Heaven with him and all my loved ones. Sad as this post might seem I can find peace and joy in the life that Jesus offers us. Because of his LIFE, DEATH and RESURRECTION we can all have REBIRTH through Him and have LIFE eternal with Him. We all know that life is a cycle and that if we are born one day we will also die. Life can be very short sometimes so it is good to know the truth and except it quickly. Live that truth to the fullest in whatever life span you are given and the rewards of peace, joy and love will be great!

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.
John 3:16

In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going."

John 14:2-4

If you confess with your mouth that Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. 
Romans 10:9